I want to talk about being a dreamer and a powerhouse mom. For years I kept myself comfortable with nursing babies and keeping up with the day to day. I thought to myself, when the kids are in school, 5 years from now, that’s when I’ll start working on me. I won’t join a gym, there’s no time! I can’t record music, we have no money! Thinking about my dreams was the very very very last thought in my mind.
What a terrible lie I was believing, that I couldn’t do anything for myself while being at home with the kids. It is true the insurmountable piles of laundry and constant picking up after messes was enough to keep me watching my daily show during nap time and having my wine after they went to bed at night. The days were full enough! How would I have time to work on my personal wellness?
Well, I can start with what held me back. ME, of course. My limiting beliefs, my excuses, my fears and worries.
It was enough to put me into therapy to dig deeper into my mind and recognize a lot of falsities I had carried around with me. Once my amazing therapist consistently pinpointed the truth versus the fantasy land I was living in, it was like that scene in Frozen, when Elsa leaves the castle and is ready to let it all go. Ha! I came to the realization that many years of insecurities and fears had held my mind in contempt.
For most of my early childhood and even late youth I was an athlete of all kinds. Competitive dance and cheerleading (nationally, state, and state fair ranked. Woot woot!), softball, volleyball and track. But once I had a handful of big girl jobs, I kissed my athletic life goodbye in exchange for a 40+ hr work week and a good party every once in a while after work. This sad turn of events ushered me into a “no I don’t work out, but I’ve always been an athlete so I’ll get back to it eventually.”
Yeah that didn’t happen.
As a matter of fact, after having kids, I decided working out was of the devil! I mean if I’m nursing and on my way to having another baby soon, why do the work? Plus, I was majorly insecure of my shrunken, borderline skeleton body post nursing for an entire year.
My body decided to deplete and stay skinny, but not healthy! After having two children, nursing them and two very sad miscarriages, my once athletic body morphed into a 60 year old looking and feeling body, at 27.
Needless to say, I came to a standstill with the facts. I was in need of personal care and I just simply didn’t feel like getting over myself to go to the gym.
Ladies, please help yourself and your family, who receive your love each and every day. Get your body and mind healthy! Even after you’re a few months into nursing and you can’t seem to find the time or energy. I mean of course, there are special situations where you just can’t do it with the resources or situation you have.
But those of you who have the ability and your matter is over your mind? Do it! Do it for yourself. You can start small. Also, it doesn’t have to be the gym. Go on that run and unwind. Peloton your way through and fight. Feel yourself give energy into taking care of you. It is A-mazing what will happen to your perspective when you care more about loving your heart and body than you do about those fears.
I’ll give you a little snippet of info. I was one very insecure, afraid, controlling, and confused little girl. I grew up knowing in the marrow of my bones that I would grow up to get married and have children. Being a stay at home mom was all I would want, is what I was told. Taking care of my husband and doing chores all of the time, sacrificing my body, my mind for the sake of others was my destiny.
Shiza! What a limiting belief about myself.
Truthfully, I loved sacrificing for my family. I absolutely delighted nursing my babes and doing all of the housework and cooking for my tribe. The danger is when you become a slave to those things and forsake your own well being. If you believe you don’t have the time, in all actuality , you are believing you don’t deserve it enough to find the time. Or possibly that you won’t feel better or you will be more exhausted. I can understand why you would see it that way.
But, are you eating enough every day? Drinking the proper amounts of water? Are you sleeping well? All of these things factor in. Giving birth and the inherent after effects on the body are no joke. Trust me, I sat on that pack of ice after having 11 stitches to my lady parts postpartum, for a straight week! Then after that I was never the same.
I get it. I get it all. I know the exhaustion you feel from nursing and pumping endlessly, rarely sleeping full nights, in some cases balancing other children, fighting emotional battles while you adjust to a new life. It’s so hard! Every mother should be given an award, a new house, her dream car and freshly baked cookies-maybe even more!- for bringing children into the world. It’s so downplayed, I can’t even.
Coming back around here, if you look up ahead a few months from all of this, you have two roads before you. One road heads toward calm, safe, untainted waters. The other is uncharted waters! Unsure, heavy waves. Scary and…well you get it.
Remember that part of the song in Pocahontas when she sings, “should I choose the smoothest course? Steady as the beating drum..”
If Pocahontas had chosen the smoothest course, in her case Cocoum, she would have never fulfilled her purpose! Good things happen when you move into unknown places and you are uncomfortable and oftentimes doing it alone.
You are the Pocahontas of your life. Prepared to change nations! Ready for whatever comes her way.
Listen to mother willow and follow the the leaves, HAHA! But seriously. It is available to you in whatever shape or form of your liking. My challenge to you is, don’t give up on yourself. Don’t buy into the lie that everyone else needs to be taken care of and you fall to the wayside. In the end, and we’ve all heard this, you have to take care of your livelihood and nurture that before you can bring your best self to the ones who need you. Yes, they need YOU. Do you want to give them a happy ,rested, and healthy mom? Or would you like to continue exhausting the horse that is tired and thirsty and give those people a half cracked mom with very little enthusiasm?
I think we all want the former mom. You have that at your fingertips. I am here to inspire you to step into that season. And gals, let me tell you something. When you choose her, your flower will gleam and glow-thank you Tangled.