We all start off dreaming of being a mom one day. You think of all the things you aren’t going to do with your child, the things you will do, you’ll partially begin choosing baby names before you even marry your husband, you will unintentionally judge other moms who are doing mommyhood the opposite of “how you will” and you will strive with your whole heart not to make the same mistakes you think your mother made with you.
Let’s pause for a brief moment….
Fast forward from that moment to the future, and you’re at the dining table breastfeeding your second babe, while hand feeding your first. And your thoughts are “what the heck did I get myself into? I can’t do this everyday of my life!”
Later when your babies are toddlers you’ll think…well I spank my kids so I won’t have misbehavior like their kids. Dun dun dun
Fast forward, your in the store and your son/daughter won’t listen, is screaming at you or at their sibling and you are mortified and frozen.
And you think to yourself…”wow, I’m that mom”
The one I scoffed at, judged, and swore I’d never be. That’s me.
What about the stay at home mom who is surrounded by financial pressures, feels like she should balance working from home and being a full time mom in order to keep up with the status quo?
I should go back to school and finish my degree while I have two children under 3 yrs old!
I need to hand over my responsibilities to raise my own child so that I can make more money. Because the real value is in keeping up right? ….
Meanwhile your deep groaning to be with your littles and give them your own tools to grow up in, are traded in for a nanny/daycare who most likely won’t sustain the same care that you would.
The intensity that is involved in continually pouring yourself out for your child is indefinitely exhausting and would be a huge burden lifted if you let someone else do it for you. But I’m here to tell you, you made the right choice. Right here, right now…staying at home with those babies was the most precious gift you could have ever given your family.
Listen I won’t say I’ve never planned a way out. I did the whole thing. I studied for my TEAS entrance exam for nursing school and passed, I got the financial aid, I enrolled in all the classes until orientation day… and the anxiety was more than I could handle. Because at the end of the day? Around 8pm? I wanted my glass of wine or hot tea and something yummy to snack on while I binge watched 3 episodes of This Is Us. Not because I’m lazy. HA, most people don’t know what hard work through and through is until they are a stay at home mom.
The one who wakes up when even the car makes a peep p, the one who cleans up the dog poop and the baby poop one after the other, the one who drools at Joanna Gaines and counts her blessings because we all want to be financially free and accomplish our passions, the one who wanted nothing but to be a stay at home mother but also considers giving it up in exchange for a stress less life.
I’m telling you now momma, gird your loins! You are raising the future! You are raising the brave ones. The next cyberspace genius. The next poet of our century.
You are the teacher.
You are the culinary chef.
You are the yoda master.
You are the faith sustainer.
You are the strong one for them.
Don’t let the world fool you. At the end of the day, what you reap in return for all of your life dedicated to these little ones, are world changers. People changers. Primed and prepped self reflectors, because you raised them right. I’m talking to you. Yep, you. Your hidden yes, but you are the Bach behind the symphony.
Similarly, many working moms are amazing. There aren’t words to describe the sacrifice.
But if you had the choice, if you wanted to sculpt and shape your children and be the foundation for their rapidly moving life, you’ve done good momma. For far to long in recent decades, stay at home moms haven’t gotten the support they deserve from the busy bodies of the world. To make the selfless choice to have little of a social life, to allow your body to be used for life to be cultivated, to sacrifice every day for years in order to protect and defend the livelihood of your child is close in hand to the honor of a soldier.
See appreciating feminism doesn’t have to be proven only in the workforce! Embracing your strength as a nurturer is powerful! It’s something that men just simply don’t naturally have 24-7 like we do. A mother’s touch and smell cannot be replaced by a mans either, for both instinct driven and acclimated purposes. You are woman. Nothing can change that. It’s undeniable, uncontrolled, uncontainable god given power.
And all the liberals said, “____”
Politics aside, we’re being changed simply by choosing this career move. Some choose to provide answers, many choose to provide money, but none other than a woman can give a child into the world.
It’s a pure gift.
It’s true that many women need to be empowered into the workforce.
It is also true that many women need to be empowered to raise their own children and do it well.
To the stay at home mom, you’re right where you should be. All the second guessing, all the pressure, all the lies you may have accepted…I’m here to relieve you of your duty to succumb to thoughts.
Just be. Be present. Live thankfully. Give to other things when you can.
What you’re doing is a wonder. An amazement. A gift.
I know that when you are done reading this, reality will await. The stress will come. The anxiety or whatever it is you face. Discipline yourself to remember this, all you need to do is be gracious with your failures and fight hard for what is good, but at the least remember you are made for this! You have already been prepared for this season. Even when you can’t do anything but deny that, you are still ok. You’re doing it right!